Pete Holmes Show
be there or
That square is 5 bees by 6 bees I’ll have you know that is a bee rectangle you have failed
Today we were watching this tornado video that my teacher recorded on VHS in the 1500s, and he kept skipping all these Whose Line is it Anyway commercials. I hissed every time he hit that damn forward button.
But I’m also curious as to why there were at least 10 minutes of promos for Whose Line is it Anyway on the National Geographic channel…
IM JUST TRYING TO SPELL POMEGRANATES
who keeps clogging the toilet
HOW DARE YOU
this is so specific i love it
So, pour the champagne, pour the champagne
"Augustus is soooo pretentious!!!"
Ohmygod, no way?? It’s almost as if that’s exactly what John Green intended.
"Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production."
I just wanna suck a dick right now. who’s around?
The Lord is and you need to have a talk with him
Thank youuuu! I feel bad because I never answer these seriously, so I guess I will this time.
1) I’m a pretty good writer.
2) I am compassionate. Unlike any human I know in real life.
3) My tweets make me laugh more than they should.
4) I’m smartish.
5) I have blue eyes and blue eyes are the best eyes.